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Donald Trump’s Shitty Diet Reflects How Shitty Our Country Is

We all know our country is in for a gross trip over the next four years, but this new CNN study about the presidents diet just makes us a little more alarmed about the future American people. Americans are already obese and unhealthy, and professionals are worried Trumps eating habits will make the situation even worse. I mean, no one expected Trump to be convincing kids to snack on baby carrots, but apparently the presidents gross eating habits actually have a huge effect on the country.

In a recent article, Suzy Evans, a historian and literary agent, spoke to CNN about how the eating habits of American presidents have historically mirrored the diets of Americans. “,” Evans said. “.”

So lets talk about what were in for, considering president-elect Donald Trump eats a diet consisting of Kentucky Fried Chicken, McDonalds, and tacos. Were not saying those dont sound like good choices at 3am on a Saturday night when youre too blacked out to make a conscious decision, but um, maybe not the most responsible choice when youre sitting down for lunch in the oval office. Lets just hope kids remember Michelle Obamas campaigns to like, eat vegetables and jump rope.

Read more: http://www.betches.com/study-shows-donald-trumps-shitty-diet-reflects-how-shitty-our-country-is

Nina Agdal Eats A Ton Of Protein, So We’re Going On An All-Protein Diet

If you thought the typical model diet was all raw kale and Diet Coke, think again. Victorias Secret Angel Nina Agdal recently revealed what she eats on a regular basis, and its a shit ton of protein. Plus, if you haven’t heard, Nina has been dating Leo Dicaprio for the past few months, and the two of them have been spotted at the trendiest restaurants in NYC recently. I guess we can assume theyre sharing a steak?

It’s true. Not only does Nina stock her fridge with bottles of Muscle Milk, but she also eats steak all the time. When asked about her love for protein, she stated, I think all women are a little scared of high-protein drinks at first until they actually learn about it. She also said, Everyone needs protein. You need it especially if you work out a lot, but even if you dont, its still really important because it keeps you full and tones your muscles. A lot of women think theyre going to bulk up if they have too much, but you wont. Im telling you, you wont!

So there you have it, kids. Models who work out eat all the proteinall the time. Oh, and when asked if she gives herself a cheat meal, Nina claims she gets a frappuccino with whipped cream. Wild.

Read more: http://www.betches.com/nina-agdal-protein-diet

The End Of Diet Coke Might Be Upon Us AKA The World Is Ending

Im not trynna freak yall out or anything, but all the betchy drinks are on the verge of extinction. First we learned prosecco might run out, then Champagne. Not to mention ros season ends in like a fucking month. In case that wasnt mind-blowingly awful enough, its recently come out that diet sodas aka Diet Cokes days might be numbered. Wtf are we supposed to drink?

Some company that examines consumer habits and shit found that less people are drinking diet versions of soda and if the trend keeps at it, they might be discontinued. Are you kidding me rn? Whats even crazier is that regular soda sales are actually on the rise, which actually isnt all that crazy when you think about it because we have a fucking obesity problem in this country. Fucking duh.

They think it has something to do with artificial sweeteners getting a bad rep. Apparently, those might have something to do with people getting fat? That makes no fucking sense because my Diet Coke has zero calories and the regular one has 150. Im looking at the cans rn. But IDK, science is hard. The company also says it could be because everyone is on a clean-eating kick and just drinking water and juices instead. Thanks a lot, Gwyneth Paltrow. Now look what youve done.

The good news is that Diet Coke isnt going anywhere just yet. We just have to do our due diligence and buy a shit ton of DC so they get the message that this just wont do. So drink up, betches. Our sanity depends on it.

Read more: http://www.betches.com/diet-coke-maybe-phased-out

Zoodles With Bolognese Because We’re On A No-Carb Diet

So like, weve frequently sung the praises of Mr. Atkins and his groundbreaking diet. Is it totally recommended by nutritionists and people who actually study this shit? No, but can you lose 3 lbs in a week? You bet!

Simple swaps like replacing rice with some sort of cauliflower powder or noodles with some sort of spiralized veggie can save you more than 200 calories. That way, you wont feel as bad when you splurge on some kind of delicious sauce like the meat-laden Bolognese.

Making zoodles isnt hard. We adapted the Bolognese from Italian skinny betch, Giada, so you know its good.

Ingredients

  • 2 medium zucchini
  • 2 tbsps olive oil
  • Salt and pepper

For the sauce

  • 2 tbsps extra virgin olive oil
  • medium onion, chopped
  • 3 cloves garlic, chopped
  • 1 celery stalk, chopped
  • 1 carrot, chopped
  • lb ground beef
  • 1 14 oz. can crushed tomatoes
  • cup dry red wine
  • 3 tbsps parsley, chopped
  • 6 basil leaves, fresh, chopped
  • Salt and pepper
  • Grated Pecorino Romano cheese

Grab your spiralizer, if you have one, or a veggie peeler. Cut off the ends of the zucchini and spiralize or peel, catching all the noodles in a sheet pan. Grab a saut pan and heat with half of the olive oil. Once its super fucking hot, add in half of the zucchini and cook for about 2 minutes, stirring n shit. Add some salt and pepper, cook another 2 minutes, then remove. Toss out any and all liquid in the pan, add the rest of your olive oil, and repeat with the rest of the zucchini noodles.

Meanwhile, in a large skillet, heat up your oil and, when its almost damn-fuckin-hot (like, nearly smoking), add in the onion and garlic and cook until the onion is translucent without burning the goddamn garlic.

Add in the celery and carrot and saut for another 5 minutes before adding the beef. Cook over high heat, breaking that shit up into manageable pieces until it isnt pink anymore. Add in the tomatoes, wine, parsley, basil, salt and pepper and cook until the sauce thickens in like, 15-20 mins. Remove from the heat and top your zoodles. Grate some fucking cheese over the top and BLAMO.

Read more: http://www.betches.com/zoodles-with-bolognese-sauce

We Went On A Week-Long Smoothie Diet And These Are Our Stories

Sometimes, we put ourselves through really stupid shit to entertain. This was not one of those times. I, Betchy Crocker (totally my real name thx mom and dad) have a wedding coming upmineand was determined to lose 3 lbs before the upcoming nuptials.

Like any true betch, I decided a juice cleanse was totally the way to go. However, upon learning that a weeks worth of juices added up to approximately oh-my-fucking-god, I decided to go with a smoothie diet instead.

Why? Because I have a fucking Vitamix thats why. Sorry, thats the starvation talking. But heres a quick snippet of how a weeks worth of smoothies can both help and drive you insane.

Day 1

I wake up and make a blend of frozen strawberries, kale, blueberries, ginger, and almond milk. Im honestly shocked when I dont taste the kale, but learn quickly that I need to blend this shit as long as possible so that Im not chugging smoothies. Surprisingly, Im not starving by lunch. I eat some almonds and have the second part of the smoothie before feasting on a salad for dinner.

Day 2

After yesterdays berry extravaganza, Im feeling good about my smoothie abilities. To make up for the protein Im clearly missing, I blend one banana, some Whole Foods almond butter (yah fuck you), almond milk, and Greek yogurt. Its way too thick and I gag, although the taste isnt horrendous. I add water and hate myself. I drink this until 10 am, at which point I purchase a carrot juice. I crave pizza at lunch but say no. I eat a Vitamix soup for dinner consisting of butternut squash and potatoes. Ive lost a pound. I praise the diet gods.

Day 3

Im shocked its only day three. Im feeling so un-bloated I dont even know myself. Clearly in an effort to show everyone how cool I am, I go for the green smoothie. I blend green grapes, celery, ginger, lemon, and a fuck load of spinach. It isnt great, but it isnt terrible. I eat crackers for lunch because I need carbs. My dietitian friend tells me Im an idiot; I tell her she has weird hair. I eat more leftover soup for dinner and watch my fianc eat tacos. I cry.

Day 4

Theres leftover green smoothie from yesterday, so I begrudgingly take it to work. A co-worker stops by and discusses the benefits of apple cider vinegar with me while I peruse Pinterest for alcoholic smoothie recipes. My skin looks oddly clearer, but energy is lacking.

Day 5

Can cheese be blended?

Day 6

I make a beet and apple smoothie and learn what suffering is. I didnt blend it enough; it got stuck in the straw, I sucked too hard, and nearly choked. I pray that Ive lost three pounds. My skin and hair seem better overall although my boobs are smaller. Wtf? Did I lose the weight from my tits?

Day 7

I make a different beet smoothie with apples, ginger, kale, and almonds. It isnt horrible. I have lost 4 lbs., seemingly all from my boobs. I laugh at the diet gods and their cruel sense of humor.

I successfully end the smoothie challenge. I plan to gradually ease into normal foods once more but, in the meantime, will continue working at least one smoothie into my daily meals.

Also, maybe consult a dietitian or doctor before doing this since, like, you may not eat enough and pass out on a walk. Just saying.

Read more: http://www.betches.com/week-long-smoothie-diet-review